I recently spent some time at one of the greatest places on the planet to people-watch: the McDonald’s in Concourse C at the DFW airport. In doing so I discovered that there are but a handful of ways that people will order their fast food. Now, I’m no behavioral health specialist, but I did stay in a Holiday Inn Express once. It was in the middle of nowhere, I’m pretty sureit was haunted, and the USA Today was actually …wait for it…USA Yesterday. Be that as it may, I believe I’m now distinctly qualified to make the following general connections between how a person orders their fast food, and their personality, as in the following:
Order Approach #1 – “Give me a Big Mac.”
There are two main personas associated with this order approach:
1) You’re robbing the place, and why not take a burger as well as the cash – you deserve it all!
Order Approach #2 – “I’ll take a Big Mac.”
You’re not exactly sure how you ended up at a McDonald’s counter ordering food. The last few minutes are a blur, and probably something that a medical professional should be involved in. However it happened, you’re game for anything, and your potential medical crisis won’t get in the way of this opportunity to have a burger. Carpe fries with that?
Order Approach #3 – “Let me have a Big Mac.”
At first glance, you are often confused with the “Give me” guy outlined above. However, when carefully considered, it becomes clear that you have a style, and a motivation, all your own. You see deeply into the hearts and souls of fast food workers everywhere, and you know their reluctance to let that hand-crafted, one-of-a-kind burger go. Your plea, often spoken in soft tones, goes well with a side of gentle eye contact and, if deemed situationally-appropriate, a super-sized hand on the shoulder. You prove that you’re not just another customer, as you leave the most important tip of all: compassion.
Order Approach #4 – “Can I have a Big Mac?”
You’ve not yet mastered the idea of a free market where anyone with cash or credit can purchase goods and services. While this might seem like a daunting reality to most, you consider it an adventure, with every financial transaction being at once thrilling and terrifying. You’re left in a constant state of wondering if you will, in fact, be allowed to exchange your currency for the goods you so desperately want and need. No matter how many times it’s proven that you can, in fact, have a Big Mac if you have $3, you’re never sure. And that’s ok!
Order Approach #5 – “Can I get a Big Mac?”
Order Approach #6 – “What’s a Big Mac?”
You are either a zombie, one of those people who has been holed-up in a Texas ranch compound for 40 years, or have recently emerged from a coma and are eagerly exploring the world for the first time. Either way, we can all see it, and we’re not amused – there is simply no time to explain and you’re holding up the line. Just order or turn yourself in. You will not win.