The Master Switch

Parents need a master light switch by the front door. That way we don’t have to wander around the entire house shutting off lights. We can just throw one large, Alcatraz-style breaker, a metal beast that’s two feet wide and takes two hands to pull down. Imagine the penultimate satisfaction of grabbing that steely handle, shifting your feet in preparation for the momentum needed to slam it down, all while yelling to the cosmos like a time-maddened warden, “I ain’t payin’ to illuminate an empty house, hehe! Lights . . . out!!” {Ker-chunk}


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