Is there a gas pump left in America where we can just pay at the pump and be about our business? They are still at it:

>Do you have a rewards card? (Y/N)

>Do you want a receipt? (Y/N)

>Do you want to watch ESPN on this tiny TV? (Y/N)

>Do you know who Ariana Grande is? (Y/N)

>Would you like to purchase a Steak Burrito Grande for $2.99? (Y/N)

>Are you now or have you ever experienced hallucinations due to extreme cold? (Y/N)

>Would you like to purchase a Zagnut, 2 for $2? (Y/N)

>Is there anyone we can call in case you slip into a cold-related coma? (Y/N)

>Does the piping hot coffee on the sign above you look amazingly good and piping hot? (Y/N)

>Would you like to buy some (Y/N)?

>Would you like to pre-purchase a car wash for when our car wash thaws out sometime in April? (Y/N)

>Sorry, forgot: Receipt? (Y/N)

>Are you currently seeing an old prospector in a badger skin hat dancing a jig and beckoning you to follow him over that small knoll over there? (Y/N)

>Can you currently blink your eyes? (Y/N)

>To prove you’re still conscious, press “Y” (Y/N)

>Sure about that Zagnut? (Y/N)

>Your card has been declined . . . just kidding. Did you find that amusing? (Y/N)

>If you’re still reading this and are physically able, you may now pump your gas while you enjoy this clip of Ariana Grande sitting beside a roaring fire, drinking coffee and eating a Zagnut.

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