It did make me reflect, however, that there are some character traits found in the Bible, even among some of the Bible’s “best and brightest”, which may not make for a welcome “award” (but which might be justified, especially among adults?).
Here (IN GOOD, IF OBSCURE, FUN) are a few that come to mind:
- The Cain Award for being the worst brother anyone could have
- The John Mark Award for abandoning your friends
- The Balaam Award for literally having to be told that animals have feelings too
- The Nicodemus Award for being ashamed of being seen with a friend
- The Haman Award for being a natural-born schemer
- The Criminal on the Cross Award for always waiting until the VERY last minute
- The Korah Award for always questioning authority/rabble-rousing
- The Melchizedek Award for being frustratingly mysterious and just popping up places when you feel like it
- The Elisha Award for vastly overreacting when someone dares to criticize an age-related physical trait
- The Jacob Award for Impersonation with Intent to Defraud
- The Jonah Award for evidently wanting no one else to have a good time
- The Nephilim Award for apparently being really cool but going extinct like a big, heroic loser
- The Zechariah Award for going long stretches being weirdly quiet
- The Pontius Pilate Award for being a germaphobe/blame-aphobe
- The Adam Award for always getting us kicked out of really amazing places
- The Peter Award for going to great lengths to avoid paying your own taxes
- The Moses Award for thinking that hitting things with sticks is going to solve your problems
- The Aaron Award for waiting, like, 3 minutes after I leave to do something stupid!
- The Thomas Award for NEVER believing what I tell you. . . I have insisted, like, fifty times, that I’m telling you the truth! What do you need, a photo? Video? A notarized letter from God himself??! Ahhhhhh!!!!
- The Gideon Award for being, well, you know . . . you started out a little shaky, then you were great, and then, well . . . seriously, what should we make of you?
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