We have a couple of parakeets (I can only assume we thought our house needed a few more funky odors). Every night we cover their cage, and every night the birds freak out when we get anywhere near the cage, as if we can’t be trusted. I can only imagine this is the type of conversation that takes place every night between those birds:

(In a stereotypical mobster accent, for some reason)

“So I says to him, I says, ‘I ain’t gonna pay no two bucks extra for the organic seed, ’cause everyone knows that’s a scam, and besides, I’m a bird over here, for crying out loud, amiright? And . . .hey what’s this guy doin’ over here? Watch this guy over here…what’s he doin, Joey? He’s walkin’ this way, what’s he doin’?! I think he’s gonna whack me, Joey! He’s gonna whack me Joey? He’s gonna murder me Joey!! Get in the corner of the cage, Joey, scooch, Joey! Here he comes, Joey!!! He’s gonna whack me, Joey!!! He’s gonna …ah, nah, he’s gonna cover the cage. Look at this guy right here. He gave me a heart attack over here! Just coverin’ the cage, Joey, that’s all he’s up to. This guy right here. Thought he was gonna whack me Joey. Whatta guy.”

#BirdsAreRidiculous