Ews-nay Ake-fay

So-called “Sharpiegate”.   

I mean, political affiliations aside (truly – I think this largely transcends politics; I simply don’t understand this leadership style at all, regardless of specific political philosophies), you can’t make this stuff up. I’m trying to imagine getting away with what our Commander-in-Chief is up to, say, in a normal job:


CEO (i.e. fearless leader of us all): “So, as you can plainly see from this chart, our sales are incredible this quarter. Absolutely phenomenal.”

(Everyone else): “Um, did you make that “Total Sales” bar longer with a Sharpie?”

“I don’t know . . .I don’t know.”

“How can you not know?”

“Look, original sales projections showed some truly, truly incredible numbers.”

“But our Sales team says they NEVER indicated the numbers would be anywhere NEAR what you’ve . . . drawn . . .on that bar graph.” 

“That’s why they’re Fake News.”

“Fake . . .what? Who? The Sales Department? What are you . . . ?” 

“Listen, this is all Fake News just to demean. You can’t spell “Sales” without “ale,” which those losers have obviously had too much of.”

“Seriously, this abuse of facts can have detrimental consequences for our company!” 

‘I’m right, you’re wrong.” 

“But . . .”

“Huge. Fake. News.” 

“But. . . “

“Hashtag Fake News.” 

“But, how . . .”

“Ews-nay Ake-fay.”

“I . . . quit.”

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