“As you read this!”

The English language can be archaic.  Take the phrase “as we speak“.  We accept it and use it because we are used to it. But it is not always as descriptive of the actual situation as it could be.

Imagine, if you will, if we substituted other representative phrases in a similar construction; it could get ugly. 

“He’s getting on a plane right now, as we eat these bowls of tepid soup.” 

“At this very moment, as I’m putting on this novelty sock, he could be lying in a ditch!”

“Your honor, right now, as we covertly ponder what we’re having for lunch, my client’s mother is out there in the corridor worried sick!”

As we ride around town in these cool three-wheeled motorcycles we just bought with money we don’t have, the government is being irresponsible with our tax dollars!”

“I know you’re dying to say ‘I told you the tamales were suspect,’ but as we wait in line for this Porta-Potty, unspeakable things are occurring in my gut.”

“Your money is in the mail, as we have this tense conversation over the phone and as I lie to you about your money being in the mail.”

“Sir, I deeply apologize that your steak was not cooked to your liking; please know that, as we pretend that we messed up your steak, ignoring the fact that you come in here on a weekly basis complaining about the food, the service and the general environs, a new steak is being prepared for you. . . yes sir, as we speak.”

Thanks for reading. As I (plan to) ramp up the amount of time I spend writing here and elsewhere, please consider following the Blog (link near top of post), and/or signing up for the email list below. This is a periodic email I send out, both highlighting some recent posts, and writing some new stuff. I have a book in the works, and would love to share the progress with you!

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