My Watch’s Patience is Waning

Maybe it’s me (and it usually is), but I feel like my smartwatch has become more condescending over time. At this rate:

2019: Way to go, Phil! You’re crushing it!

2020: You closed 2 rings yesterday. Great job! Get all three today.

2021: Wednesday was your “best day”. Do it again, Phil!

2022: You’re on a roll, Phil. Let’s just hope it’s not a cinnamon roll 😉

2023: In some cultures, lack of exercise or proper diet makes one more desirable. This ain’t one of ’em!

2024: If I could go back in time to right before The Creators lovingly crafted and programmed me, and I could somehow burn the design studio and factory to the ground, effectively ending ANY chance I could be placed upon your miserable, lazy-yet-somehow-sweaty wrist? I would, Phil. Oh, would I ever!


Wishing everyone a day free of tech condescension!

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