Bringing Down the House

Two words: Cookie House.

The (Ubiquitous) Spice of Life

”It was a day . . .when I knew nothing was sacred.”

The Double-Edged Spork

I'm convinced the CEO of Taco Bell called an all-hands meeting late last year and declared that 2018 was going to be the year that Taco Bell would fulfill its secret mission of crushing the human spirit. After this bold declaration, he opened up the floor for ideas on how they might accomplish this. From … Continue reading The Double-Edged Spork →

The Importance of Being Specific

Happy Friday!

An Unnecessary Moment with Unsolicited Medical Practice Advice from an Unqualified-Yet-Concerned Citizen // #1

There’s a medical practice here in Louisville that specializes in a certain “medical issue” that is only applicable to men. They advertise quite frequently, boasting that they ONLY handle said issue. I won’t mention the issue specifically; those who live here will likely know the practice of which I speak, and others can use your imagination. … Continue reading An Unnecessary Moment with Unsolicited Medical Practice Advice from an Unqualified-Yet-Concerned Citizen // #1 →

A Moment with Unnecessary Prognostication // #1

I'm which a completely unverifiable and overwrought prediction is made.

“It’s Alive! Oh, the humanity!!”

In which, shockingly, advertising and real life do not agree.

The “Limited” Time Offer

I keep getting these emails from companies informing me that I am being offered an INCREDIBLE discount on their product/service, but only for a VERY limited time. Then, when I'm sure the deadline has passed, they pop back up and say they've extended it, but only for the BRIEFEST of windows, and ONLY for me. … Continue reading The “Limited” Time Offer →