We spend a lot of time these days at the local ballpark (Motto: “Well, THAT’s four hours of your life you’re never getting back”). During the course of many, many evenings and weekends spent at the fields, a large portion of it wandering around looking for a game that’s more interesting than the one I came to watch (I kid . . .?), I can’t help but chuckle at the prevalence of the super-specific, age-old phrases thrown out by coaches and fans alike.
You know the ones I’m talking about. You’ll only hear these at a baseball game. It’s like we enter some type of informal agreement that, when a game is being played, we’ll only utter a select few phrases and check all other human language at the gate.
It makes me wish we would make an effort to use these phrases outside of the confines of the ballpark. Might be interesting to use them QUITE LITERALLY in the workplace. For instance:
Catch a miscalculation in the budget that saves the company money:
“Good eye, Clarence!”
Meeting presentation goes horribly wrong:
“That was way over your head, Carl.”
Corporate makes some tough personnel decisions:
“Everyone goes!”
Boss thinks you’re not a team player:
“You got to back him up!”
Turn in a report with a ton of grammatical errors:
“You gotta catch those, Barbara!”
Boss sends you in to close the sale:
“Ducks on a pond! Let’s go!”
Boss is not impressed with your sales prospects:
“You gotta get a better lead!”
You report to the understaffed building super that you saw a large rodent in your office:
“Just keep your eye on it.”
You’re waiting for crucial information from someone you didn’t realize was on vacation, and your boss is livid:
“Are you insane, he was out!”
Coworker turns on a violin concerto:
“THAT’s the chin music I’m talking about!”
When you’re told not to disturb the accountant at the end of the month:
“He’s deep in the count.”
Complain to a less-than-sympathetic IT department that your computer monitor is fuzzy:
“Move in a little bit”
Eating a work lunch and your boss gets miffed because you keep spilling food on your shirt.
“You gotta move closer to the plate!”
Someone leaves old boiled onions in the break room fridge:
“You gotta throw ’em out, Gene!”
A group of coworkers takes a stroll during lunch in order to promote health and wellness:
“Looks like an intentional walk to me.”
And of course, when your eating habits leave much to be desired:
“For goodness sake son, stop swallowing your gum, you’re going to block up your plumbing!”
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